his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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