I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My balls are so social today.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
