Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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