Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
