5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
