i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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