does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
