I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
