Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she woke up with a sticky ear
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
