she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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