you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
