last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
