Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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