you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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