People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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