um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
