He is like the real live version of the state fair..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
