I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
