Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
