I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
there is puke in my bra ... again
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
