Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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