i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
