Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
this just has baby written all over it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
