im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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