Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
