Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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