Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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