Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
