Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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