whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
