enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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