69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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