I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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