I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I would fuck him just for his dog
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
