I cockslap morals
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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