This girl is more easily done than said...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
