Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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