if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
