a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
