All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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