Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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