Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
