I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
