Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she peed on how many people?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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