Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
