Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
