i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
