If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
