You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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