Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
