i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my shit smells like andre
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
