it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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